I quit!

I quit! No, I'm not quitting the UBC. But I did quit the UBC prescribed nutrition plan. It is a plan that works when followed, but I have decided that it is just not one that I could consider a life change. I knew that even if I would stick it out through the challenge, it is not something I would stick to simply because I find it boring and restrictive. As I've said before, I can only eat certain foods, yet I'm supposed to eat them all the time and it just has been driving me crazy. Since my ultimate goal is to find a balance that works for me to have as part of my regular life, I decided to move on and go a different route. For now, I am just watching my calorie, carb and protein intake - very similar to how my husband eats, but in different amounts. With the help of the internet, we figure that since I'm working out every day, I should be able to build muscle and still lose a little weight eating 2000 calories or less, trying to keep my protein up above 100 grams (that protein part is harder than you might think!) That is totally doable and I feel much less stressed since I switched. Again, I'm not looking for a diet plan so much as just a sound nutritional foundation that works for me and my goals - long term. A lot of it is just learning to make healthy eating choices, which before I started the UBC didn't often happen. I'm also still trying to eat small amounts throughout the day to keep my body convinced that it will continually have fuel to burn. The only real difference is that I'm not as concerned about exactly how many strict proteins and strict carbs I put in, so I have more choices. Hopefully this will be good. If not, we'll try something else until we find what works for me.



I was happy with my 5 week results but have been frustrated since. As I wrote, I got sick right around the time of my 5 week testing and that weekend I didn't eat well. After that, I just felt like I'd lost any momentum. I have been so frustrated just feeling like I'm struggling with the diet part, my momentum is gone and the clock is ticking. I now only have 3 1/2 weeks left. While I made it 5 weeks without stepping on the scale the first time, I got on the scale again within a week after we weighed in and I had gained 2 pounds! I was so upset! Actually, my scale at home said I gained 5 pounds (which would be everything I lost!) so I jumped on the scale at the gym (since that's the one I've been using for this) and it just said 2. Granted, 2 is better than 5, but still... Now, I was on an antibiotic and it was just days before my period, so I've been telling myself it is just water. I never did convince myself though. Nonetheless, tonight I was trying on sundresses a friend is letting me borrow for our trip to Jamaica and as I was looking in the mirror, I felt satisfied. I can see that I am toning and I am actually considering wearing a bikini in Jamaica. (We'll see...) I realize that even though I've been saying that I want to tone up, old habits are hard to break. Any time I've ever worked at changing my body, I've always been able to shed the pounds if I've really put in the effort and with that I become noticeably smaller. And I have put in a ton of effort. But this program is different. It isn't about becoming smaller, it is about becoming stronger and more fit. And I am. I am starting to see muscle definition for the first time in my life. When I consider wearing a bikini, it isn't because I am smaller, it is because I am firmer. My 8 year old, Taylor, was watching me try on dresses and as I was between dresses and she could see me in just my skimpies she lovingly told me that I look so much better than the last time she saw me undress several weeks ago when I was trying on workout clothes with her and Alyssa. When I asked for clarification, she explained that I was just bigger then. Good enough. In the long run, I will be happier with being tone than with being skinny. And I can definitely tell I am getting stronger. At the same time, I am having to come to the realization that 10 weeks isn't going to be a magical time frame. While it is a good start, it will have to be just the beginning. I am getting over the illusion that I will have some amazing body at the end of this challenge and realizing that it is really just the beginning of a lifelong (I hope) journey. This is what I've kind of been saying all along, but as I said, old habits are hard to break. But tonight I am content. I enjoy what I'm doing. I like how it makes me feel. I'm definitely making healthier choices and I'd say I'm on my way, at least for today.

I spent quite some time yesterday writing a new post only to not post it in the end. I struggle between wanting to be transparent and wanting to guard my heart. In a way guarding my heart is actually what the post was about, but hopefully I can write about it while still doing it. I'll try anyway.

One of the things I've been contemplating for awhile has to do with what kind of walls one chooses to put up in their lives. Okay, I'm the particular one in this case who I've been contemplating this about. (I bet you never would have guessed!) I hope this makes sense without getting into a lot of detail, but people are disappointing. This should be no surprise. We are sinful by nature and there is not a person in this world who is not going to, at some time, let some one else down. The fact is, I'm sure I've let people I care about down and I know I've been hurt deeper than I'd really like to admit by people I cared about. But now I am at a crossroads.

For the past couple of years, I've let those walls grow. I'm comfortable with those walls. I don't really want to let people in too far and I control exactly how far they are allowed in my life. I like it just how it is and it is very controlled. The thing is, I believe in Biblical community. I believe in serving and being "in it together" with my sisters and brothers in Christ and I know I can't really be a part of it all if I don't let down some of my walls. I also think about how sometimes the greatest joys in life require risk. Do I want to be a person who is complacent because I am not willing to take the risk to love deeply enough? Theoretically, I want to be the person who says "I know I will probably get hurt, but I am going to keep putting myself out there to live to the fullest every moment God blesses me with and I know that my life is so enriched by the people I let in it." Theoretically, I want to be the type who gets back up and knocks the dust off when I fall down and get hurt and gets right back in the game. Theoretically...
In reality, I covet the control (or perceived control) and the safety of my walls. Resentments of past hurts threaten to fortify those walls unless God mercifully takes them away. I have been praying on this and God is working on me, but I'm definitely not there yet. In reality, I probably have a decision to make because I know that sometimes the attitude changes only after you change the behavior. I tend to want to desire to do something before I do it, but that's often not how it works. Sometimes a person just has to jump in and "do it anyway" (obedience) before the "want to" (reward) comes in to play. There is a decision to be made. But for now, I am comfortable. I am happy. I am content. Why rock the boat?
Wow, hope this wasn't too deep. It's just been on my mind. Have a good night.

And the verdict is...

Okay, I had my 5 week (or half way) evaluation on Friday night and the progress results are in. Here goes:

Sit Ups I could do 21 sit ups in a minute at the beginning and this time I did 30. My goal was 33, so I didn't quite get there, but I'm okay with that. My goal for the next 5 weeks is to do 38.

Push Ups I could do 24 modified (girly) push ups in a minute at the beginning and this time I did 40. My goal was 33 so I accomplished that! It surprises me that I made my push up goal and not my sit up goal as much as we work on abs, but it is all good. My goal for the next 5 weeks is to do 26 real push ups. I so courageously tried to get out of this goal as the thought of doing real push ups has always daunted me, but it's time to work on it.

Sit and Reach I reached 19 1/2 inches at the beginning and 21 3/4 this time. My goal was to reach 23 inches, but I still had a 2 1/4 inch gain in flexibility in this amount of time and I am happy with it. My goal for the next 5 weeks will remain 23 inches.

As for measurements... I'll put my beginning measurements in white and my 5 week measurements in blue.

Arms - (R) 11.5 in (L) 11.25 in (R) 11.5 in (L) 11.5 in (they evened out)

Chest - 35.75 in 35 in (- a very noticeable 0.25 in.)

Waist- 30.25 in 29.25 in (- 1 in)

Belly Button- 32 in 31.5 in (- 0.5 in)

Hips (Between Hips & Thigh) 41.75 in 37.75 in (- 4 inches)

Thighs (R) 25.75 in (L) 24.75 in (R) 22 in (L) 22 in (-3.75 in and -2.75 in- they
also evened out)

Weight 156 lbs 150.6 lbs (-5.4 lbs)

Pant Size sz. 10-12 Sz 10 solidly


So there it is. I know they aren't numbers that will make any one's eyes pop out of their heads, but I am happy with them. 5 lbs in 5 weeks doesn't really seem like a lot, but I keep being reminded that this is different than a diet. I am gaining muscle, so the numbers on the scale aren't going to go down as drastically as if I was on a diet. Muscle weighs more than fat and muscle burns fat, so it is all good. I was happy with my fitness test. Again, I know they aren't amazing numbers, but for me they were.


I missed my first workout this weekend. I didn't even work out at home. I had been feeling really rough last week . I think I posted earlier that I still went to work out on Thursday and of course on Friday. But by Saturday morning, I knew I needed to go to the doctor instead. And it was good I did because I had strep throat and was able to get an antibiotic. I'm feeling much better now. Saturday was Alyssa's birthday party, so it was my free day for eating. I had lots of cake and ice cream and while not a ton of food throughout the day, none of the food was made to fit into my current nutrition plan. I was going to be good yesterday (Sunday) and do my bands at home to make up for not working out on Saturday. Plus my free day was over and I needed to eat right again. But my husband is a softie when it comes to the kids and he took everyone to Culvers after church. Now I know that I could have just eaten a salad there, but I RARELY go to Culvers and I surely wasn't interested in just watching everyone chow down on their meals and the always popular cheese curds! So I had a little side salad, but followed it with 1/2 pork tenderloin sandwich (with Mayo!) and a few cheese curds. Kudos to me for cutting the sandwich in half before smothering it in mayo, but yeah, that just set the tone for the day. We went home and the kids and I had a cleaning day (that could be a whole other blog entry!) while Dan went to his work out. After a few hours of thorough cleaning and already feeling like I'd lost the day, I called Dan and asked him to bring me home a soda and something sweet. I said it cryptically, but when it came down to it, I wanted my coveted Carrot Cake. So my darling husband brought me diet soda, carrot cake, and ice cream which we ate after our nutritious (and yummy) meal of chicken nuggets! (yeah, that balance thing was out the window! If I'm gonna blow it, I'm really gonna blow it!) Today, I am back on the wagon though and ready to have at it. I am ready to kick some bootie working out tonight - after 2 days, it seems like it's been forever! And I am in the right mindset for eating well. I'm actually working on convincing myself that this weekend of eating was in reality a good thing for me. I've been told it may be time to switch things up in my diet a bit to keep things going. I'm going on the theory that I just needed to give it a little jolt this weekend so it can really be efficient this week. Sounds good to me!

Anyway, I'm halfway finished with the challenge and looking forward to this second half! I'll keep you posted. Have a fabulous day!

MJ

Tonight's the Night

Today marks 5 weeks of my UBC. I am really excited! And I am especially happy to report that I have only missed one class the entire time. The time I missed was because Dan had to work that night, I couldn't get a sitter and the person who ususally opens the gym in the morning wasn't going to be there. I had no choice, but I did still do my workout at home, so I didn't miss out on that. Even yesterday, I got up and went to the gym at 6:00 am for my workout and then got the kids off to school and crawled back into bed sick for the rest of the day. Tonight will be my fitness test, weigh in, and measurements for the 1/2 way mark. I'm looking forward to it, but as I have been sick the last few days, I wish I had a little more energy. I seem to finally be feeling better as the day goes on, so hopefully by tonight I'll be doing pretty good. I've slept a ton, so I should have some energy. Tomorrow will be busy, so I will probably let you all know how I do on Sunday.



At this point, I would say the most difficult part has been the diet for me. This has surprised me a bit because most diets dont bother me too much once I get used to them. But this diet or 'nutrition plan' is very simple without much variation, yet I am supposed to eat all the time. Yesterday, I had a half of a grilled cheese sandwhich at lunch time (comfort food!), yet I knew it was "illegal" as I am not supposed to have butter or regular cheese. For the most part, I can do without butter, but you can't have a grilled cheese sandwich without it. I thought about whether or not to make it for awhile, but in the end decided that it is really about balance. I will never make it if I have to stick to the same basic foods all the time. It will not become a lifestyle change. So, I am choosing to have grace with myself on some of this stuff. Even if I am strict now, it does no good to loose the weight or get in the better shape if it doesn't last because I cannot keep up with it. I have been pretty strict with it, but I think I will need to do a little research and see what would work good for me long term. I do like that what I am eating almost always has nutritional value to it right now (unfortunately, I couldn't always say that!) And honestly, I am rarely, if ever hungry- just bored with the food and would often rather not eat. I'll keep working on this. Feel free to share what works for you!



Wish me luck tonight! More later!

Munchin on the Mind

Yeah! I got this to work! I was trying to write on here and it kept translating it into Hindi! It took me a bit to get it all fixed, but you can't put anything past me ;o) It has been a good week. Last Sunday was my "free day" and it was kind of interesting. I ate whatever I wanted, but I honestly did not go overboard. Nonetheless, it made me feel sick. I had 2 servings of Roast Beef at lunch and my stomach was upset the rest of the day. I had a couple of (small!) banana bars that I had frozen (to save for a day I could eat them) and they were good, but tasted sooo sweet. I did enjoy a Jimmy John's sub sandwich for supper (with Mayo!) It was almost depressing, though. I look forward to my free days and they aren't nearly as fun when they make me feel sick! I know it is a good thing and it means my body is starting to rid itself of all the garbage and request good foods. I am happy for that and I do hope it can become somewhat of a lifestyle change. Yesterday, I had my longer workout in the morning and I tried to make a new recipe for chicken salad for lunch. It turned out totally nasty and I was hungry and just wanting regular food! So I deemed yesterday my free day instead of today and ordered Papa Johns. Never fear! Papa Johns did not make me sick and I thoroughly enjoyed every bite. I will say that I didn't tackle nearly as much of it as I once would have, but was sufficiently full (and happy!) I even ordered soda with it, which was a nice treat. The only problem has been that today has been a disappointment going back to my new regular diet. This weekend has really been the first that I've just wanted to munch. I don't know why, but a cookie dough blizzard from Dairy Queen would make me a very happy woman...for the moment. But I know that moment will pass, so I am being good. Dan is bringing me another diet soda when he comes home this afternoon and that will be my treat. (Diet soda is allowed, I just have chosen not to keep it in the house anymore!) I have found a couple of good recipes that fit into my nutrition plan that I will soon post if anyone is interested (thanks Tabitha! - don't try the Chicken Salad though!!)



I was a little concerned last Sunday because for no apparent reason my Achilles tendon was REALLY hurting me. I took some Alieve and it didn't touch it for most of the day. It made me nervous because I looked up on the web what to do for it and it didn't sound like a good problem to have. So I went out and bought an ankle brace to wear while working out to try not to exacerbate it. But on Monday, I woke up and it was totally fine (Praise God!) I've used my brace twice, but feel silly. I've never been an athlete, so to have any sort of athletic type "injury" or problem seems like I'm making it up. Isn't that funny? So, the debate is on - do I wear the brace in attempt to prevent my tendon from hurting in the future or do I forgo the brace assuming it was just a fluke last week and I am fine? Such decisions!



And to follow up from my last entry...Zycam rocks! I totally give it 2 thumbs up for anyone just starting to get a cold. I had a very minor cold for a few days, but it never amounted to much and I have been very pleased. (I have now endorsed Papa Johns, Dairy Queen, and Zycam - I should get paid for this entry!)



OK - for this weeks "weird" story, I have been having one problem with my workouts. It is with crunches. We do lots of them every day and different types of tummy exercises to get the different muscles in that group. Well, see, I have big ribs. There it is - it's out there now. Dan and I used to joke that I have the best ribs in the county. Many of you probably haven't noticed them because they have been sufficiently covered for awhile, but as I've started to lose weight, my abs (and my....sniffle....chest) have been the first places to lose (it's NEVER the bootie! What's up with that?!?) Anyway, my ribs, in all their protruding glory, are beginning to make their glorious appearance again and it is causing me a lot of grief during my crunches and other ab exercises. I don't even get half way through before my ribs start to feel like they are on fire and are bruising! Now, who has that problem, Really?! My instructor has checked before and I appear to be doing the exercised properly, I just have lovely ribs. If I lose a little more weight, I can start having my hip bones wear holes in my jeans, too! Hee hee! Now this is always something that makes people say "See! Her bones are sticking out! She's too thin!" And at times I have been. Let me assure you all that is NOT the case here. I just have big bones! (my ankles are huge too! I always have sock indentations in my feet because socks are too tight around my ankles - it made my doctor question whether I was retaining water when I was pregnant or not, but I wasn't; my ankles were naturally fat. But I digress...) Anyway, if anyone has suggestions for my Crunches dilemma, I'm all ears. I may just need to find other ways to do the exercises. The lower ab ones are fine, of course, since my ribs don't reach down that far. And I think I can do different exercises for my obliques. It's just the plain old crunches that I have to work on. As I'm sure this has just riveted all who reads this, I will keep you updated!



Next Friday is our half way mark. We will do our testing and get weighed and measured. I am a little anxious because I have loved doing this and I truly anticipate good final results. Reaching the half way point makes me feel like it is almost over and I don't want it to be over! Isn't that funny - especially since it isn't even half over yet? What has happened to me? However, I found out this week that I will get to go on vacation to Jamaica the week after I finish UBC! What an awesome way to finish! I am so excited and so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and hopefully I will be bathing suit ready at that point!