Still Chuggin'

Just a week and a half until my 5K. I am so excited because I feel so ready! I ran my first 3 mile jaunt about 3 weeks ago and have been pleased to see that I can consistently do that. In other words, it wasn't just a fluke. Last night, I took Taylor (9) and Blake (almost 8) for a run with me. It was fun. We went on a bike trail in McHenry that takes us towards Glacier Park so it is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I love it because it is peaceful and as close to country as I really get around here. It follows a railroad track so while I was jogging, Tay and Blake were moseying along, picking wild flowers and walking along the railroad ties. It was truly a picture of what childhood should be and I was grateful for that image. We went just over 2 miles and I was also grateful that when we returned to the van I did not feel winded! This is absolutely amazing to me! I know it is less than the 3 miles I've started running, but for someone who has always loathed running, being able to run an easy 2 miles is mind blowing.

It's interesting how one's thought process can change when new habits are formed. For most of my life, the thought of working out has been a chore; something I would do sometimes because I knew it would be good for me or I knew I would feel better afterwards, but that I didn't ever really care to do. After working out 6 days a week for 10 weeks and now adding the running, I just don't like to even imagine not working out. The last couple of weeks, I've only averaged maybe 4 days a week working out just because one must continue on with real life and it isn't always compatible with my gym schedule. One would think that is great! I used to give Dan a hard time for feeling so bad if he missed a gym day or didn't eat well. Now, I am even worse! So Monday, I am at the clinic and they have already determined I have a bladder infection, but suspect that I have appendicitis, as well. So they decided to do a cat scan and casually mentioned that if it came back that I did indeed have appendicitis, they would admit me into the hospital for surgery. My thoughts were two fold. First, I thought that while I've never thought surgery was a huge deal for others to have, I have never had it and I wasn't interested in that being my Monday afternoon activity. But the very next thought was "I have a 5K to run on the 31st! I can't have surgery! Not only would I probably not be in the best shape to run (and bounce) on the 31, it would set me back in how much I can do and I will go backwards instead of forwards! This just wont do!" You have no idea how much this makes me laugh because it is not me!! Where these thoughts have come from is beyond me! But I know that while I may not be able to keep up a 5-6 workout per week schedule, I can not imagine living a sedentary life again.

Incidentally, I did not have appendicitis. It was determined, however, that besides my bladder infection, I also have a cyst on my ovary and uterine fibroids. (Dan says he would have opted for the appendicitis.) I have an appt. with my OB/GYN next week, so I guess I'll know more then. Until then, I'm good friends with the Naproxen. I'm slightly disheartened because I have been really working hard to fight back against all the disfuntion my body has been spewing the last couple of years. I figure if I am physically strong and have a healthy diet, that has to carry some weight. For awhile things seemed better but I've been struggling to feel great the past month or so. Some of my heavy arms have been coming back and definitely my achy joints. Though I must admit, I was taking natural food supplements because my adrenals were worn down and it had really helped my sore joints feel normal again. I no longer felt like the tin man who needed to always carry his oil can with him. I had run out of the supplements and my chiropractor lives quite a distance away, so I just quit taking them for awhile. The bad news is I paid for it and became really stiff again. The good news is it let me know the supplements really made a positive difference and I am now taking them once again. Now the cyst and/or the fibroids have me in regular discomfort and I am bummed. What does it take to just have a strong, healthy body around here? So, I am disheartened, but not about to give up! I am only 32 and I REFUSE to let my body age at the rate it is trying to! I will fight it every step of the way!

OK, onto better topics... how about a weight watchers update? WW is going very well and I am slowly and steadily shedding the pounds. As of yesturday, I have lost 12.4 pounds. This has been in about 6 or 7 weeks or so (not sure exactly). I think I have averaged between 1.5 and 2 lbs. per week which is a nice rate. I feel like I am in a really good spot because while I wouldn't be opposed to losing a couple more pounds, I am also content where I am so I don't have a ton of pressure on myself. More than losing more lbs., I really want to loose more "cottage cheese" that has taken up residence on my thighs. So toning is more my focus. I had a big milestone last week though. I bought my first pair of size 6 jeans since before I got pregnant with Alyssa. Alyssa is 6 now, so it has been some time. I am excited. I feel confident and I feel empowered to tackle whatever I decide to tackle. Life is good!

Have a blessed day and go do something nice for yourself today!

On the Run...

I just finished my first 2 weeks of training for my 5K that's on May 31. So far it has been great, I'm happy to say. The coaches have been wonderful and encouraging and enthusiastic, which really makes it nice. Each week, we run 3 times; twice as a group and once on our own. The first week, we ran 2 minutes, walked two minutes, ran 2, walked 2 etc. for 20 min. each run. Last week, we bumped it up to running 3 min. walking 2 for 25 minutes. Today, we will start running 4 min, walking 2 min. for 30 minutes. Next week will be run 5, walk 2 (for 35 min. maybe?) and then after that, we will just be running. It has been a very nice way to work our way into it. On Saturday (running 3 and walking 2), we made it about 2 1/2 miles, running just over half of it.



I have been pleased to find that doing the 10 week UBC prior to this (and I am still doing the workouts each night) has definitely been beneficial. I have a lot more stamina than I ever did before. My cardiovascular condition is pretty good from bouncing around the bag for 50 minutes each kickboxing night. All of us who are training for this 5K are beginners of all different ages sizes and fitness levels. I've never been athletic and I've never been a runner - even running bases in softball was traumatic for me! While I have spent my life at the bottom of the pack when it comes to fitness, I have been surprised to find myself always ending at the front of the pack on these runs. It has been a nice though quite surprising thing. I credit that completely to the workouts I've been doing since the beginning of January. It hasn't even been 4 months since I began working out and I am absolutely amazed at the change in my fitness level. I can't wait to see where I am at come this time next year!



As a weight watchers update, I have now officially lost 8.8 pounds since I began (and more than 10 since I started UBC in January). I am at 146.6 pounds and I really feel good about where I'm at. My goal weight is 140 and 143 will put me back to the size I was when I got married - though I'll admit my shape has changed a bit after 4 kids :o) The first 7 pounds or so came off very easily once I started weight watchers, but now it is going quite slowly. That's fine as I'm content where I am and I know it's a lot healthier that way. My instincts are to just keep reducing how much I eat to help me achieve my goal, but my instincts are wrong, so I have to consciously go against them. I want to keep my metabolism up and I want to have energy to work out. I'm still working on it, but I am little by little trying to apply this whole "balance" thing.

That's all for now. Have a great week :o)

I'm back and going strong!

Yes, it has been a long time since I have written. I finished my ultimate body challenge and then jetted off to Jamaica! Ok, so that was 3 or 4 weeks ago, I'm still using it as my excuse. Although I have not been writing, I have continued working, so at least I'm still doing what I need to do.

After taking a week off to go on vacation, I got right back in the saddle and joined weight watchers online. I laughed at myself a little because I was so excited when I first signed up, as if filling out the registration itself was magically going to do the trick. I sat on the couch that morning and had that moment of "Oh - now I have to follow this." But today marks 2 weeks and so far I haven't had any problems following it. I like it because I have a lot more choice in what I eat and as long as I include the good stuff and I watch my portions, I can also have some of the enjoyable stuff (like cheese, mayo, butter, some sweets...) So far, I have lost 7.6 pounds and I feel really good! I am at 147.8 and my ultimate goal is 140 - though I really feel good as I am, so I think I will be happy with whatever else I lose.

I have continued working out when I can. My first week back from Jamaica, I went every day. Dan had to make me go back that first night, but after that, I got a little momentum back. Last week, Dan had to be gone a lot with work, so I only made it to work out twice, but I am back in the saddle this week and plan to continue going every day. At this point in the game, I just feel so much better when I am consistent. Plus, if I miss a couple of days, the workouts are really hard when I return. It's amazing!

I am pleased to announce that I am adding a new challenge to my routine. I have signed up to train for a 5K that will be in Huntley at the end of May. The Running Depot (a running store in Crystal Lake) is doing a training for beginning runners to be able to finish a 5K. Now, this is kinda a big deal because truly I HATE to run. I don't want to hate it. I really want to like it. But so far, I just hate it. When I told Dan about this, his response was "Why would you want to do this? You hate running!" I found it funny and true. But as I said, I want to learn to like it and even if I never do, I will consider it a definite acomplishment to run a 5K. My sister, Elaine, ran a Marathon the year she turned 30. I think that would be a wonderful goal to achieve, but I will see how the 5K goes. No need to put the cart in front of the horse. My sister Kristine is also currently training for her first 5K in Peoria in June. She started training a couple of months ago though, and I know she will do great. My 1sttraining run is tomorrow night. I'll keep you posted!

Anyway, this doesn't really change my routine too much, it just adds a bit. On top of my kickboxing and bands workouts throughout the week, I will run on my own on Mondays, with the group on Wednesday evenings before kickboxing, and then instead of my bands/kickboxing class on Saturday. So, Saturday is the only day I can't just do both. So Mondays are kickboxing and running on my own, Tuesdays are bands, Wednesday I run with the group then jet over to Kickboxing, Thursdays are bands, Friday is kickboxing, Saturday morning is running with the group and on Sunday I will REST! I really feel like accomplishing the Ultimate Body Challenge has given me the confidence to try other things as well. I look forward to checking the 5K off my list and going on to the next thing!


Did I mention that I have a fabulous husband? He has been wonderful in supporting me - especially considering all the extra stuff he is responsible as I take off each night (baths, homework, cleaning up after supper, getting the kids to bed etc.)! It has been wonderful for me to be able to do this for myself and he can see how much happier I am because of it. I am so grateful for his support and encouragement. I totally couldn't do any of this without his help!

One more picture...

Ok - the bottom picture is of me doing an uppercut. I was amazed when I zoomed in at the muscle ( upper picture). Granted, my muscles don't just sit around looking like that, but I was excited to see the definition! (Not so excited about the lack of definition in the chin, but hey... perfection is hard to come by;o)

The End of the Beginning

So Friday night wrapped up the 10 week Ultimate Body Challenge for me. I must admit, I had mixed feelings about it. A huge part of me really didn't want to go in for my final testing and measurements. I knew the numbers weeren't going to make me happy and I just didn't want to see them. Plus, I knew I was going to continue on and I didn't want to be discouraged when I'm just not done yet.

I said before that I wasn't supposed to weigh myself except at the 5 week and 10 week intervals. I did really good the 1st 5 weeks, but have weighed myself periodically the second five weeks so I knew that not only did I not lose any more weight, I gained a couple back. This is a far cry from the up to 30 pounds I was supposed to be able to lose. Now, I didn't need to lose 30, but if that much was the norm, then a good 10 or 15 would have been good. Going into my weigh in, I didn't want to be hung up on a number, but I felt like I failed. I was getting ready to go that night and was fighting back tears because I just felt like a failure. To look at it honestly, I did not excell in the nutrition part and that was my achilles heal. I haven't given up yet, I just haven't found that balance yet. I like yummy food and I am kinda anti-dieting anymore, but balance has never been my strong suit, so I'm still working at it. I'm taking a week off while I go to Jamaica this week, but when I get back I am going to do weight watchers for a bit because I know it works. It doesn't really do anything I don't already know how to do, but it will hopefully help me track things, and get me into some better habits. At times it has been frustrating because I knew I wasn't eating the greatest, but I was still doing so much better than before and in my mind that should have counted! Baby steps.

While the nutrition part was my weekness, I will admit that I am proud of myself in the fitness area. I didn't make it to all my classes because it is impossible to do that without putting life on hold. But if you average it out, I would say I made it to work out at least 5 times a week - even in frigid -20 degree weather! This is huge for me. The working out this much was the part that intimidated me in the beginning and made me a bit fearful of signing up for this program. I hate exercise and I wasn't totally convinced that it wouldn't kill me. But I quickly found that I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed getting stronger, more flexible, and gaining stamina. I enjoyed working out with my new friends and got lots of energy from my partner on the bag - Tammie. And I enjoyed being given this time for me each day. There were a handful of times that I didn't want to go, but I always felt great after I went. And when it came down to whether or not I would go to the final testing at the end, I knew I had to because I had to cross that finish line to feel the full accomplishment of it all.

So the results... I'm going to give you my measurements from week 1 to week 10. I went backwards from week 5 on some of my measurements which is because a different person measured us at week 5 so they weren't accurate measurements.

Beginning 10 Weeks

Arms L 11.25 R 11.5 L 11.5 R 11.5

Chest 35.75 35

Waist (natural) 30.25 28.25

Belly Button 32 29.5

Between Hips 41.75 40

& Thighs

Calves L 15.25 R 15.25 L 14.75 R 14.75

Thighs L 24.75 R 25.75 L 23.75 R 24

Weight 156.0 153.6

Body Fat 29 27

Total inches lost 10.5

The 2 places I most notice a difference are in my abs and my arms. My abs have a ways to go, but have started to take a little nicer shape. My arms, actually showed zero change in size, but I can see a lot more muscle tone in them and actually have a little something to flex. These are by all means not drastic results, but I can say with honesty that I am more fit and energetic and I just feel good, so it has made a difference.

My fitness test went well. The results are...

Beginning 5 Weeks 10 Weeks

Push Ups - 24 (modified) 40 (modified) 30 regular - this is HUGE for me!

Sit Ups - 21 30 32 ( I could have done more but I ran out of time - I'm not that fast)

Sit and Reach 19.5 in 21. 75 in 23 in - I'm gaining my flexibility back!

So, I am pleased with these results and do feel a sense of accomplishment. They made me glad I crossed the finish line. And like I said, it isn't the end. It is all just beginning and I actually look forward to seeing what I can accomplish in the n ext 10 weeks. I will not be able to commit to going to my workouts to the extent I have as my wonderful husband has had to juggle a lot to make it possible for the duration of this challenge. However, I plan to go whenever it works into my schedule and hope to still achieve at least 3 times a week. As the weather is mercifully getting nicer, I also hope to add in more walking/jogging and bike riding. I hate running, but I still want to learn to love it, maybe that will be one of my next goals. I'll think about what my next goals will be and let you know soon.

Hmmm...

So, the weather is finally making me smile and with the beautiful spring like feel, I decided to get up this morning and go for a walk/jog before Dan had to leave for work. It was nice. I went about a mile and a half, jogging some and walking more, but trying to keep a good pace. (This is the advantage of going by myself in the morning, it can be a little faster than the leisurely to snail like pace we go with the kids.) There are lots of hills around, so even walking is getting a decent work out. Really, it was nice just to be out in the fresh sunshiney air. It is good for the soul after months of a very cold winter.

All is nice and well and this afternoon, Alyssa, Tess and I have a picnic outside and then go for a walk/baike ride together. I walked, pushing Tess in a stroller for the sake of speed and Alyssa rode her bike. Again, it was beautiful and we were all enjoying our time out and about when about half way through my knee starts hurting. At first, I ignored it figuring it just needed to work its way out. It felt a lot like my kneecap needed to pop or crack or adjust or whatever and just wouldn't. But after several minutes of continuing to walk on it (as we were on a walk), it hurt more and more and by the time I got home, I was seriously almost limping. I would have been limping but my pride kept me from it. So I decided to go inside and stretch - something I didn't do this morning but thought of later. The stretching felt great and just quitting walking seemed to help my knee immensely. It feels fine when I'm off it but the ache is still there (albeit not as strong) when I do walk (like to the other room).

So I'm not really sure what to think. While it has been several months since I have ran at all, I've been pretty active with regularl bouncing and kicking along with strength training. I could tell I was using different muscles today, but gosh, I just can't imagine that one little walk/jog would cause an issue. In fact, I think my pride will be really hurt if I injured myself in this small endeaver. But I know nothing about running or about knees or about injuries or anything fitness related, really. I have a kardio kickboxing class tonight and a bands and kickboxing class in the morning (with the focus on lower body - go figure) so I guess I'll take some Motrin and see how it all goes. If anyone has any input, it would be much appreciated!

I quit!

I quit! No, I'm not quitting the UBC. But I did quit the UBC prescribed nutrition plan. It is a plan that works when followed, but I have decided that it is just not one that I could consider a life change. I knew that even if I would stick it out through the challenge, it is not something I would stick to simply because I find it boring and restrictive. As I've said before, I can only eat certain foods, yet I'm supposed to eat them all the time and it just has been driving me crazy. Since my ultimate goal is to find a balance that works for me to have as part of my regular life, I decided to move on and go a different route. For now, I am just watching my calorie, carb and protein intake - very similar to how my husband eats, but in different amounts. With the help of the internet, we figure that since I'm working out every day, I should be able to build muscle and still lose a little weight eating 2000 calories or less, trying to keep my protein up above 100 grams (that protein part is harder than you might think!) That is totally doable and I feel much less stressed since I switched. Again, I'm not looking for a diet plan so much as just a sound nutritional foundation that works for me and my goals - long term. A lot of it is just learning to make healthy eating choices, which before I started the UBC didn't often happen. I'm also still trying to eat small amounts throughout the day to keep my body convinced that it will continually have fuel to burn. The only real difference is that I'm not as concerned about exactly how many strict proteins and strict carbs I put in, so I have more choices. Hopefully this will be good. If not, we'll try something else until we find what works for me.



I was happy with my 5 week results but have been frustrated since. As I wrote, I got sick right around the time of my 5 week testing and that weekend I didn't eat well. After that, I just felt like I'd lost any momentum. I have been so frustrated just feeling like I'm struggling with the diet part, my momentum is gone and the clock is ticking. I now only have 3 1/2 weeks left. While I made it 5 weeks without stepping on the scale the first time, I got on the scale again within a week after we weighed in and I had gained 2 pounds! I was so upset! Actually, my scale at home said I gained 5 pounds (which would be everything I lost!) so I jumped on the scale at the gym (since that's the one I've been using for this) and it just said 2. Granted, 2 is better than 5, but still... Now, I was on an antibiotic and it was just days before my period, so I've been telling myself it is just water. I never did convince myself though. Nonetheless, tonight I was trying on sundresses a friend is letting me borrow for our trip to Jamaica and as I was looking in the mirror, I felt satisfied. I can see that I am toning and I am actually considering wearing a bikini in Jamaica. (We'll see...) I realize that even though I've been saying that I want to tone up, old habits are hard to break. Any time I've ever worked at changing my body, I've always been able to shed the pounds if I've really put in the effort and with that I become noticeably smaller. And I have put in a ton of effort. But this program is different. It isn't about becoming smaller, it is about becoming stronger and more fit. And I am. I am starting to see muscle definition for the first time in my life. When I consider wearing a bikini, it isn't because I am smaller, it is because I am firmer. My 8 year old, Taylor, was watching me try on dresses and as I was between dresses and she could see me in just my skimpies she lovingly told me that I look so much better than the last time she saw me undress several weeks ago when I was trying on workout clothes with her and Alyssa. When I asked for clarification, she explained that I was just bigger then. Good enough. In the long run, I will be happier with being tone than with being skinny. And I can definitely tell I am getting stronger. At the same time, I am having to come to the realization that 10 weeks isn't going to be a magical time frame. While it is a good start, it will have to be just the beginning. I am getting over the illusion that I will have some amazing body at the end of this challenge and realizing that it is really just the beginning of a lifelong (I hope) journey. This is what I've kind of been saying all along, but as I said, old habits are hard to break. But tonight I am content. I enjoy what I'm doing. I like how it makes me feel. I'm definitely making healthier choices and I'd say I'm on my way, at least for today.

I spent quite some time yesterday writing a new post only to not post it in the end. I struggle between wanting to be transparent and wanting to guard my heart. In a way guarding my heart is actually what the post was about, but hopefully I can write about it while still doing it. I'll try anyway.

One of the things I've been contemplating for awhile has to do with what kind of walls one chooses to put up in their lives. Okay, I'm the particular one in this case who I've been contemplating this about. (I bet you never would have guessed!) I hope this makes sense without getting into a lot of detail, but people are disappointing. This should be no surprise. We are sinful by nature and there is not a person in this world who is not going to, at some time, let some one else down. The fact is, I'm sure I've let people I care about down and I know I've been hurt deeper than I'd really like to admit by people I cared about. But now I am at a crossroads.

For the past couple of years, I've let those walls grow. I'm comfortable with those walls. I don't really want to let people in too far and I control exactly how far they are allowed in my life. I like it just how it is and it is very controlled. The thing is, I believe in Biblical community. I believe in serving and being "in it together" with my sisters and brothers in Christ and I know I can't really be a part of it all if I don't let down some of my walls. I also think about how sometimes the greatest joys in life require risk. Do I want to be a person who is complacent because I am not willing to take the risk to love deeply enough? Theoretically, I want to be the person who says "I know I will probably get hurt, but I am going to keep putting myself out there to live to the fullest every moment God blesses me with and I know that my life is so enriched by the people I let in it." Theoretically, I want to be the type who gets back up and knocks the dust off when I fall down and get hurt and gets right back in the game. Theoretically...
In reality, I covet the control (or perceived control) and the safety of my walls. Resentments of past hurts threaten to fortify those walls unless God mercifully takes them away. I have been praying on this and God is working on me, but I'm definitely not there yet. In reality, I probably have a decision to make because I know that sometimes the attitude changes only after you change the behavior. I tend to want to desire to do something before I do it, but that's often not how it works. Sometimes a person just has to jump in and "do it anyway" (obedience) before the "want to" (reward) comes in to play. There is a decision to be made. But for now, I am comfortable. I am happy. I am content. Why rock the boat?
Wow, hope this wasn't too deep. It's just been on my mind. Have a good night.

And the verdict is...

Okay, I had my 5 week (or half way) evaluation on Friday night and the progress results are in. Here goes:

Sit Ups I could do 21 sit ups in a minute at the beginning and this time I did 30. My goal was 33, so I didn't quite get there, but I'm okay with that. My goal for the next 5 weeks is to do 38.

Push Ups I could do 24 modified (girly) push ups in a minute at the beginning and this time I did 40. My goal was 33 so I accomplished that! It surprises me that I made my push up goal and not my sit up goal as much as we work on abs, but it is all good. My goal for the next 5 weeks is to do 26 real push ups. I so courageously tried to get out of this goal as the thought of doing real push ups has always daunted me, but it's time to work on it.

Sit and Reach I reached 19 1/2 inches at the beginning and 21 3/4 this time. My goal was to reach 23 inches, but I still had a 2 1/4 inch gain in flexibility in this amount of time and I am happy with it. My goal for the next 5 weeks will remain 23 inches.

As for measurements... I'll put my beginning measurements in white and my 5 week measurements in blue.

Arms - (R) 11.5 in (L) 11.25 in (R) 11.5 in (L) 11.5 in (they evened out)

Chest - 35.75 in 35 in (- a very noticeable 0.25 in.)

Waist- 30.25 in 29.25 in (- 1 in)

Belly Button- 32 in 31.5 in (- 0.5 in)

Hips (Between Hips & Thigh) 41.75 in 37.75 in (- 4 inches)

Thighs (R) 25.75 in (L) 24.75 in (R) 22 in (L) 22 in (-3.75 in and -2.75 in- they
also evened out)

Weight 156 lbs 150.6 lbs (-5.4 lbs)

Pant Size sz. 10-12 Sz 10 solidly


So there it is. I know they aren't numbers that will make any one's eyes pop out of their heads, but I am happy with them. 5 lbs in 5 weeks doesn't really seem like a lot, but I keep being reminded that this is different than a diet. I am gaining muscle, so the numbers on the scale aren't going to go down as drastically as if I was on a diet. Muscle weighs more than fat and muscle burns fat, so it is all good. I was happy with my fitness test. Again, I know they aren't amazing numbers, but for me they were.


I missed my first workout this weekend. I didn't even work out at home. I had been feeling really rough last week . I think I posted earlier that I still went to work out on Thursday and of course on Friday. But by Saturday morning, I knew I needed to go to the doctor instead. And it was good I did because I had strep throat and was able to get an antibiotic. I'm feeling much better now. Saturday was Alyssa's birthday party, so it was my free day for eating. I had lots of cake and ice cream and while not a ton of food throughout the day, none of the food was made to fit into my current nutrition plan. I was going to be good yesterday (Sunday) and do my bands at home to make up for not working out on Saturday. Plus my free day was over and I needed to eat right again. But my husband is a softie when it comes to the kids and he took everyone to Culvers after church. Now I know that I could have just eaten a salad there, but I RARELY go to Culvers and I surely wasn't interested in just watching everyone chow down on their meals and the always popular cheese curds! So I had a little side salad, but followed it with 1/2 pork tenderloin sandwich (with Mayo!) and a few cheese curds. Kudos to me for cutting the sandwich in half before smothering it in mayo, but yeah, that just set the tone for the day. We went home and the kids and I had a cleaning day (that could be a whole other blog entry!) while Dan went to his work out. After a few hours of thorough cleaning and already feeling like I'd lost the day, I called Dan and asked him to bring me home a soda and something sweet. I said it cryptically, but when it came down to it, I wanted my coveted Carrot Cake. So my darling husband brought me diet soda, carrot cake, and ice cream which we ate after our nutritious (and yummy) meal of chicken nuggets! (yeah, that balance thing was out the window! If I'm gonna blow it, I'm really gonna blow it!) Today, I am back on the wagon though and ready to have at it. I am ready to kick some bootie working out tonight - after 2 days, it seems like it's been forever! And I am in the right mindset for eating well. I'm actually working on convincing myself that this weekend of eating was in reality a good thing for me. I've been told it may be time to switch things up in my diet a bit to keep things going. I'm going on the theory that I just needed to give it a little jolt this weekend so it can really be efficient this week. Sounds good to me!

Anyway, I'm halfway finished with the challenge and looking forward to this second half! I'll keep you posted. Have a fabulous day!

MJ

Tonight's the Night

Today marks 5 weeks of my UBC. I am really excited! And I am especially happy to report that I have only missed one class the entire time. The time I missed was because Dan had to work that night, I couldn't get a sitter and the person who ususally opens the gym in the morning wasn't going to be there. I had no choice, but I did still do my workout at home, so I didn't miss out on that. Even yesterday, I got up and went to the gym at 6:00 am for my workout and then got the kids off to school and crawled back into bed sick for the rest of the day. Tonight will be my fitness test, weigh in, and measurements for the 1/2 way mark. I'm looking forward to it, but as I have been sick the last few days, I wish I had a little more energy. I seem to finally be feeling better as the day goes on, so hopefully by tonight I'll be doing pretty good. I've slept a ton, so I should have some energy. Tomorrow will be busy, so I will probably let you all know how I do on Sunday.



At this point, I would say the most difficult part has been the diet for me. This has surprised me a bit because most diets dont bother me too much once I get used to them. But this diet or 'nutrition plan' is very simple without much variation, yet I am supposed to eat all the time. Yesterday, I had a half of a grilled cheese sandwhich at lunch time (comfort food!), yet I knew it was "illegal" as I am not supposed to have butter or regular cheese. For the most part, I can do without butter, but you can't have a grilled cheese sandwich without it. I thought about whether or not to make it for awhile, but in the end decided that it is really about balance. I will never make it if I have to stick to the same basic foods all the time. It will not become a lifestyle change. So, I am choosing to have grace with myself on some of this stuff. Even if I am strict now, it does no good to loose the weight or get in the better shape if it doesn't last because I cannot keep up with it. I have been pretty strict with it, but I think I will need to do a little research and see what would work good for me long term. I do like that what I am eating almost always has nutritional value to it right now (unfortunately, I couldn't always say that!) And honestly, I am rarely, if ever hungry- just bored with the food and would often rather not eat. I'll keep working on this. Feel free to share what works for you!



Wish me luck tonight! More later!

Munchin on the Mind

Yeah! I got this to work! I was trying to write on here and it kept translating it into Hindi! It took me a bit to get it all fixed, but you can't put anything past me ;o) It has been a good week. Last Sunday was my "free day" and it was kind of interesting. I ate whatever I wanted, but I honestly did not go overboard. Nonetheless, it made me feel sick. I had 2 servings of Roast Beef at lunch and my stomach was upset the rest of the day. I had a couple of (small!) banana bars that I had frozen (to save for a day I could eat them) and they were good, but tasted sooo sweet. I did enjoy a Jimmy John's sub sandwich for supper (with Mayo!) It was almost depressing, though. I look forward to my free days and they aren't nearly as fun when they make me feel sick! I know it is a good thing and it means my body is starting to rid itself of all the garbage and request good foods. I am happy for that and I do hope it can become somewhat of a lifestyle change. Yesterday, I had my longer workout in the morning and I tried to make a new recipe for chicken salad for lunch. It turned out totally nasty and I was hungry and just wanting regular food! So I deemed yesterday my free day instead of today and ordered Papa Johns. Never fear! Papa Johns did not make me sick and I thoroughly enjoyed every bite. I will say that I didn't tackle nearly as much of it as I once would have, but was sufficiently full (and happy!) I even ordered soda with it, which was a nice treat. The only problem has been that today has been a disappointment going back to my new regular diet. This weekend has really been the first that I've just wanted to munch. I don't know why, but a cookie dough blizzard from Dairy Queen would make me a very happy woman...for the moment. But I know that moment will pass, so I am being good. Dan is bringing me another diet soda when he comes home this afternoon and that will be my treat. (Diet soda is allowed, I just have chosen not to keep it in the house anymore!) I have found a couple of good recipes that fit into my nutrition plan that I will soon post if anyone is interested (thanks Tabitha! - don't try the Chicken Salad though!!)



I was a little concerned last Sunday because for no apparent reason my Achilles tendon was REALLY hurting me. I took some Alieve and it didn't touch it for most of the day. It made me nervous because I looked up on the web what to do for it and it didn't sound like a good problem to have. So I went out and bought an ankle brace to wear while working out to try not to exacerbate it. But on Monday, I woke up and it was totally fine (Praise God!) I've used my brace twice, but feel silly. I've never been an athlete, so to have any sort of athletic type "injury" or problem seems like I'm making it up. Isn't that funny? So, the debate is on - do I wear the brace in attempt to prevent my tendon from hurting in the future or do I forgo the brace assuming it was just a fluke last week and I am fine? Such decisions!



And to follow up from my last entry...Zycam rocks! I totally give it 2 thumbs up for anyone just starting to get a cold. I had a very minor cold for a few days, but it never amounted to much and I have been very pleased. (I have now endorsed Papa Johns, Dairy Queen, and Zycam - I should get paid for this entry!)



OK - for this weeks "weird" story, I have been having one problem with my workouts. It is with crunches. We do lots of them every day and different types of tummy exercises to get the different muscles in that group. Well, see, I have big ribs. There it is - it's out there now. Dan and I used to joke that I have the best ribs in the county. Many of you probably haven't noticed them because they have been sufficiently covered for awhile, but as I've started to lose weight, my abs (and my....sniffle....chest) have been the first places to lose (it's NEVER the bootie! What's up with that?!?) Anyway, my ribs, in all their protruding glory, are beginning to make their glorious appearance again and it is causing me a lot of grief during my crunches and other ab exercises. I don't even get half way through before my ribs start to feel like they are on fire and are bruising! Now, who has that problem, Really?! My instructor has checked before and I appear to be doing the exercised properly, I just have lovely ribs. If I lose a little more weight, I can start having my hip bones wear holes in my jeans, too! Hee hee! Now this is always something that makes people say "See! Her bones are sticking out! She's too thin!" And at times I have been. Let me assure you all that is NOT the case here. I just have big bones! (my ankles are huge too! I always have sock indentations in my feet because socks are too tight around my ankles - it made my doctor question whether I was retaining water when I was pregnant or not, but I wasn't; my ankles were naturally fat. But I digress...) Anyway, if anyone has suggestions for my Crunches dilemma, I'm all ears. I may just need to find other ways to do the exercises. The lower ab ones are fine, of course, since my ribs don't reach down that far. And I think I can do different exercises for my obliques. It's just the plain old crunches that I have to work on. As I'm sure this has just riveted all who reads this, I will keep you updated!



Next Friday is our half way mark. We will do our testing and get weighed and measured. I am a little anxious because I have loved doing this and I truly anticipate good final results. Reaching the half way point makes me feel like it is almost over and I don't want it to be over! Isn't that funny - especially since it isn't even half over yet? What has happened to me? However, I found out this week that I will get to go on vacation to Jamaica the week after I finish UBC! What an awesome way to finish! I am so excited and so incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and hopefully I will be bathing suit ready at that point!

3 Down...

I have just finished my 3rd week of UBC. It seems to be going so fast. When I think about it, I can see that I have worked out 20 of the last 23 days. Is that possible? Me? But it has honestly been great. I have felt so spoiled to be able to count on this time each day and have my wonderful husband holding down the fort so I can go. (Thanks honey!) My parents even came and spent the night last night since Dan is out of town so I could go work out this morning. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) I'm sure they thought it was a weird reason for me to ask for help, but they came anyway and I really appreciated it. Yesturday, I had to go to the 6 am workout since Dan was going to be gone last night and I didn't want to be gone the entire time my parents were here. The morning workouts are always good, but yesturday was the first day that I would have given ANYTHING to stay in bed. My Thursday workout didn't end until almost 9 pm and then I had to go grocery shopping, so it was after midnight by the time I had everything put away and got to bed. I don't sleep well when I know I have to get up early, so it was a fitful sleep and then I basically watched the clock from 4 to 5 am afraid I was going to oversleep. Five o'clock came around and I was sooo tired. I was trying so hard to think of a way to work out later. But to no avail. I knew I had to do it then or I would miss my chance. I hadn't missed a workout yet and as I said, I even had my parents coming in last night so I wouldn't miss one today. So I got my tired bootie up out of bed and went to work out. I wish I could say that once I got there, I snapped out of it and had an awesome workout. But I was dragging the entire time. It felt like a lowsy workout to me, BUT I was sweating and red faced and in need of plenty of water, so it must have been ok. I am happy I went. It would have been nice to sleep, but I made this committment and I would have been VERY disappointed with myself (once I fully woke up) if I missed just because I didn't feel like getting up. (When all the older kids went to school, I put in Little Mermaid and fell into a coma while Tess watched her movie. I don't have it too rough ;o)

So just 2 more weeks to the half way point. I am looking forward to it. It has been an exercise in discipline not to get on the scale. I am looking forward to checking in on my progress (and that of the other girls), even with the fitness test. (And I really dislike fitness tests) But for the first time in my life, I'm doing pushups! Granted, they are modified (or girl) pushups, but that's still huge for me. I swore them off at birth, so this is good.

Meanwhile, I started getting a cold on Thursday. It was inevitable, really. Dan and Alyssa have both had them. They both say they couldn't have given me theirs because they still have them, so I guess I got mine from somewhere else, though. I was REALLY hoping to make it through this 10 weeks without getting a cold or sick. I am such a baby when I don't feel good, even if it is just a cold. And I can't imagine doing all the cardio with either snot running down my face or with being stuffed up and unable to breathe or hacking up a lung. So I decided to try Zycam. It's the stuff that you are supposed to take at the first sign of a cold and it is supposed to shorten the duration and severity of your cold. I hadn't ever tried it before, but from the few people I've heard talk about it (mostly on the radio, so I don't even k now if that counts) they really swear by it. It is a little pricey, so I hope it works, but if it does, it will be so worth it. I started it before bed on Thursday night and so far I have been happy. I will give a full review on this product in a week or two, depending on how it all turns out :o) Stay tuned...

Background Info

There's something that has been on my mind since starting this blog and I really want to address it so anyone reading can know where I am coming from. I have read through different blogs of amazing people who have/had very significant amounts of weight to lose. Their stories are amazing. Their honesty and determination is overwhelming and it is neat to get to be a cheerleader from the sidelines as these individuals work their ways towards a healthier life. I am just an average person. While I do not have a perfect body by any stretch of the imagination, I also know I don't have a large amount of weight to lose. When reading these other blogs, I start to wonder if people are wondering if this is just a shallow attempt at ...something on my part. I don't have many of the hurdles to cross that others do and I know there are some out there who would trade places with me in a heartbeat if given the chance.

So I just want to reiterate that this is only my journey. And it is significant to me. Many of you who are in my life now may not know that I suffered from an eating disorder (among other things) as a teenager. I was anorexic and bulemic. At one point, I got down to a size 0 and couldn't have been happier with the number. It was a self esteem issue, as well as a control issue. Much drama took place over the course of many years, but by my senior year in high school, I began eating normally again and in college, I thought I could eat like my boyfriend and gained a little more weight than would be good (those darn college years!) After I got engaged, I lost 30 pounds before my wedding and was a very healthy and comfortable weight to begin my new life as a wife. I immediately got pregnant, gained 45 pounds, but then went back to unhealthy eating habits and lost 60 after Tay was born, putting me back down to an unhealthy weight (which I enjoyed). Baby #2 I gained my 40 lbs, but lost them again right away. It was with numbers 3 and 4 when I gained my 40 pounds that it didn't all come off. And really- it has been okay. I have been okay with my size (though I'll admit the dimples here and there are a little less than endearing) and have been grateful that this is as big as I have gotten for as undisciplined as I can get.

The thing is that I go in extremes. It is not difficult for me to starve myself. The first few days may be tough, but once I get into that mental state, it is really pretty easy. And it is not difficult to eat whatever I want and thoroughly enjoy food for all it has to offer. What is difficult for me is balance and health. With the nutrition plan I am on now, I have to eat a little bit - alot. Any idea how hard that is? I would really rather not eat than to have to have just a little nibble of something (like a yogurt) every 2-3 hours. Any guesses why my metabolism is so messed up?

The other aspect to all of this is that I am a mom. 3 of my kids are girls and I so desparately want them (and Blake too) to feel good about their bodies and to be healthy. In the past several years, I have just refused to let myself participate in unhealthy eating habits (concerning anorexia or bulemia). Being a parent really can cure some things. My kids will see me eat - regularly. But learning to have the balance of fitness and proper nutrition has been tough. Partly because I hate exercise to be honest and I like yummy food. But just developing and keeping good habits is difficult.

As I started this challenge, even though I would like to lose some weight, I've tried to keep my focus on getting fit and healthy. Over and over, I have told Taylor (my 8 yr old) that my goal is to be fit, not to lose weight. I know that I have an average build and I don't want her to think that I am ashamed of it. If she ends up with an average build, I want her to still feel good about it and not obsess about it. She was with me as I was trying on some workout pants and I tried on a pair that was a just little tight in my rear, but they are the ones I chose because I figured they would fit great in a few more weeks. When I explained that, she said "Ah hah! So you do want to lose weight!." How do I explain that yes, I would like to lose weight so I am at my best and feel my best about myself but that I am also ok how I am. When I just focus on the fitness and health aspect of it, I can skirt the issue. But when asked point blank, I become unsure of how to navigate this.

The other part is that as Dan lifts weights regularly and I am now doing this challenge, we are both having to pay a great deal of attention to what we are putting in our bodies. I need so many proteins and so many carbs each day (though I don't count calories or fat) and Dan pays attention to calories and protein. Between us, we are constantly reading labels and writing stuff down. This is to ensure the balance of foods we are looking for and as we are both (me more than Dan) newer at eating this way, we really have to pay attention. But I am very uneasy about the fact that the kids are also paying attention to what we are dooing. I cringe when Taylor or Blake pick up something and read how many calories are in it. Daily, Dan and I are explaining that calories = energy and as long as they stay active and do not eat a ton of junk, it doesn't matter how many calories are in something. It is so important to me to impress on them the fact that we are eating and eating plenty but that we just have to pay attention to these things so we make sure that we are eating healthily. (But that we ARE eating!!) I really fear for my girls. Dan and I are trying to be healthy. I'm trying to find some balance. I'm trying to do it right. But I constantly fear that we send the wrong messages.

So one foot in front of the other I go. I guess I take it as it comes and that is part of the journey. But I know I can't let Satan have his way with my mind telling me I'm a fool for writing about this and that I have nothing significant to share. I know that everyone out there has their own story. Some may be jucier than others but they are all important. I really hope that reading my random thoughts will somehow let someone else know that they have their own story to live and that it is important.

MJ

2 Weeks In

Wow! 2 of 10 weeks are finished with my UBC challenge. It has honestly gone quickly. Already, I think of how intimidating it sounded when I was contemplating signing up, but it has really been a good thing! My husband likes to lift weights and has a gym pass at Cardinal Fitness. If he has his way, he will go 3 times a week and has been for over a year now. I used to go to Cardinal Fitness as well, but ended up giving up my pass due to the dust that it was acquiring. We were talking the other night about how different things work for different people. When I would just go to the gym, it was nice because I felt good about it afterwards. I knew it was a good thing to do and would help me stay in shape and all that. And sometimes it was good just to be able to be out of the house and away from the kiddos. But I can't really say that I enjoyed going to the gym. The treadmill is extremely boring. I don't like to run but I would like to like it, so I would just keep doing it just in case I'd wake up one day with a desire for it. I like lifting weights, but am really a light weight and without anyone to push me, when it would get tough, that would be a great time to stop. Plus, it is either really crowded (the first few months after the new year) with lots of people thinking this is the year to get in shape or there are the faithful regulars (about half way through the year and on) who take it all very seriously, look like they could run circles around me, and can at times be intimidating to sit down next to to lift my 40 pounds or whatever. So, inevitably, whenever I do the gym thing, I go strong for awhile, but the enjoyment factor isn't there and I trickle off.

I have told my husband more than once how surprised I am that I actually enjoy going to my classes! It has totally taken me by surprise. I've NEVER really enjoyed exercise before and when I signed up, it wasn't really with the thought that it would be fun. I knew it would be good for me, but fun did not cross my mind. So, I have been pleasantly surprised. I think it is because I enjoy it that going 6 days a week isn't a big deal. (It is hard working it into the schedule all the time, but it isn't hard to have the want to.) So what makes this a good fit for me? I think there are a couple of things. First of all, there are 6 of us who are comprise my UBC group. About half of us are die hards and there everyday regardless of what is going on. (We went out in the minus one thousand degree weather, I got a sitter one day when Dan had to work...) We are in it together. We want each other to succeed and we are taking the journey together. These guys are my friends and we just met a few weeks ago. But it makes it a lot more fun. We laugh and sweat together and if someone is late or missing, we notice. One lady, Tammy, was gone a night last week because she was sick, and she was missed! It just isn't the same. Sometimes I work out in the morning instead of the night if Dan had meetings that night and the whole group always knows ahead of time that I will be working out at a different time so they don't have to ride me for not being there. It is just a nice, homey feeling. Another aspect that I like is that most of the other people who attend the classes participated in the UBC at some point or another. Some have been going there for years and are now instructing and others may have just completed their UBC last year. (It isn't necessary for someone to do the UBC to attend the classes, but many who go through the challenge end up sticking with the classes from then on). This is really cool because they have all been there. Most started out with less than perfect bodies and a desire to get fit. They've all put in their time and sweat and they know how much work goes into it. There are no egos. There are no lifetime jocks strutting their stuff. It is a safe and comfortable place where everyone is so encouraging. Sometimes the karate students work out with us. They may be early teenage or something and they are encouraging us. It's pretty cool. I also think that the class format is good. I definitely get pushed a little farther than I would go on my own when I am in a class with an instructor or a coach. I'm less likely to give up when I see the other people working at it. If I have a partner who is just beating on the bag, I am more pumped up to beat on the bag. It is good. As I said, I have been working out at different times of the day and each group is different. The group at 6 am has a different personality and way of doing things than the 9 am group and they are both a little different than the evening group. I like going at night because that's when my UBC group goes, but I think it has been good for me to be able to go to different ones. Different instructors do different things and it is good to change things up so your bodies don't get used to the same things. Some instructors are harder and it is good to have that challenge, yet nice to have a still challenging yet easier to get into workout. In general, it has all been very positive.

Yesterday, I felt I had my worst workout yet. Though I am getting better, I am not overly coordinated with my kicking. Yesterday, we were rolling out kicks - starting with a front kick and turning to a round kick without putting our foot down. I can do a front kick and I can do a round kick, but ask me to put them together and we've got problems. Well, most of our sequences started with that combo so I struggled to ever get into a rhythm on the bag the entire morning. It was so frustrating!!! What do I do when I get frustrated? I cry. Hate that. So here I'm trying to pound on the bag and I'm mad and I feel my eyes welling up with water. Ugh! I just kept telling myself to take it out on the bag because kickboxing and crying do not go together! Thankfully, I pulled it together and composed myself. Saturdays are a mix of cardio (kickboxing) and strength (bands). The bands part went ok. Though I was really disappointed with my workout yesturday, I sure am sore today, so it must have been better than I thought!

As I have previously shared, we aren't supposed to get on the scale until 5 weeks into it. This is taking a lot of will power. I've been told that I may not even like what the scale says if I get on it now because my body is changing and though I should be loosing fat, I should also be gaining muscle and the scale will not reflect this. So, I am trying to be patient. But, my pants are definitely fitting better! Yeah! I haven't changed sizes yet, but there is a definite difference and I am confident that I will be out of 12s in the next couple of weeks. So far, the most noticable difference is in my waisteline. That used to mean more when jeans went up to your waistline, but it is really toning up. I look forward to seeing my abs at the end of 10 weeks. (They should be good - it is the only muscle group we work out every day!) So that's kind of exciting. If my rear end will just follow suit, I will be a very happy camper ;o)

So all is well. Thanks for following my journey! Hope you are having a fantastic new year and doing something for yourself! Have a great day.

Thankfulness

Do you ever have those times when you just feel desparate to hear God, but unable? I find myself there quite a bit. I'm not good at being still and waiting on the Lord. I still look for the flashing neon signs that say "MJ! Do this!" I'm beginning to think God doesn't work in Neon. But as I was driving along last night, I was thinking about a time God spoke to me just in the past few months. It was a little humbling, really. It wasn't a message of "I will never leave you or forsake you." It wasn't a "Be strong and corageous..." It wasn't even a "Cast all your anxieties upon me" message. I like those. This one was "Be thankful." And this word came in the form of a Bible passage. Luke 17:11-17 tells of 10 men who had leprosy. They cried out to Jesus to have mercy on them and in true fashion, Jesus did. He then sent them to show themselves to the priests as was custom at the time to be declared officially clean. But one man, returned to Jesus when he saw that he was healed, so he could thank him. He wasn't even one of God's "chosen people". He was a Samaritan. And he was the only one who thanked Jesus. Jesus asked, "Didn't I heal 10 men? Where are the other 9? Does only this foreigner return to give glory to God? Stand up and go, your faith has made you well." I first heard this passage preached on a couple of months ago and thought it was a good sermon. Two weeks later, it just happened to be what I was scheduled to teach in children's church. I felt pretty prepared already because I had just listened to a sermon on it. But it wasn't until about 2 weeks after that when I was at a completely different church and what do you think the message was on? You guessed it - this exact same passage. I am admittedly a slow study. But by this point, I started sitting a little straiter and thinking "Okay! Okay! I hear you!" Again, it wasn't lost on me that this wasn't a "well done, good and faithful servant" message, but we all need some gentle reminding from our father once in awhile and I needed to be reminded that He has provided me with so much - my salvation if not another thing! My heart needs to be in a constant state of gratitude. I tend to take so much for granted. While I think I do appreciate a lot of things, I also get bogged down by a lot of things and forget to take note of all the good in my life. As I was driving last night, I started thinking of many of the things in my life that I have not given thanks for. Some members of a small group I used to lead came to mind and my heart was just filled with love for them. One in particular is a man with an amazing heart for God who just happens to have Downs Syndrome. Yesturday, at church, he gave me a huge hug, asked me to be a part of his group again and then just stood there smiling and looking at me. What struck me was that he had a look of such joy and excitement that he might just burst. His eyes were sparkling in a way I've never seen anyone's and he just stood there smiling - at me. Thinking about it last night just made me smile out loud (if that makes sense) and filled me with joy. I am thankful for these wonderful people from my old small group. I am thankful for broken roads that are tough to travel. I am thankful for new friends who meet me where I'm at and old friends renewed. I am thankful my children who try my patience and test my endurance, but who make my life so full and complete. I am thankful for my husband who to his last breath would do anything for his children and I. I am so thankful that I am able to start this new year with a focus on me - physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am feeling so refreshed and so good and so incredibly grateful - and it is all just beginning. Most of all, I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who is so faithful and true. His Word never changes or falters. His love is rock solid. His mercy is new every morning and His grace is available 24 hours a day. He carries me in the depths of my sorrow. He sticks around when I can't even call out His name for lack of energy or even "want to" and waits patiently to lift me up and provide a renewed spirit. How amazing is my God!



I would like to think that I have learned me lesson. Unfortunately, I will probably need to be reminded again. My focus fades, my attention wanders, my flesh becomes impatient. But I am grateful that I have a Father who is willing to gently remind me...again.

What a differnece a week makes!

So I finished my first full week of UBC and am feeling really good! After last Friday and Saturday's workouts, I must say I was pretty scared. But Monday came and went and I was able to get back into a groove with my workouts. Last night was probably my best workout yet as I really got into a zone and it was really fun. I had a partner on the bag who was working just as hard as I was and it was nice because it really challenged me. But the big test came today. Saturday's classes are longer and we do both kickboxing and bands. Last week, I could barely function after that class, so there was a bit of a mental thing going on before I even got to class today. But I am happy to report that while it was tough, it was still a great class and I walked out feeling good! Yeah! Tomorrow is my free day and then its back at it on Monday.

I'm starting to get a hang of the nutritional part of this program. The focus is on raising our metabolism. We need to eat 6 times a day to help our bodies know that there's always going to be food there to burn so they don't hold onto it and store it as fat. We are supposed to eat 6 proteins, 6 carbohydrates, and 2 vegetables, though we can trade out carbohydrates for vegetables. (Ideally, 1 carb and 1 protein each meal with veggies added at lunch and supper) We need to stay away from a lot of creams and sauces like cheese sauces, butter, sour cream, Miracle Whip, Syrup etc. and watch the sugar intake in things like ketchup. We are also supposed to drink between 1/2 and 1 gallon of water per day. The water part is cahllenging for me, but I'm getting it. I used to drink a ton of diet soda and I quit having it in the house after Thanksgiving. It isn't a forbidden thing, but I save it for when I am out and then it is a treat. Even though I would drink a ton throughout the day, as soon as I switched to water, my consumption levels went down dramatically. So it is definitely a conscious effort to drink as much as I need. I have managed between 8 and 9 glasses a day, though, so it is going well. As far as what I eat, my main problem is that it is pretty boring so far. I have stuck to it pretty strictly and I wholeheartedly believe it will do what it claims, but I look forward to figuring out some different recipes so it isn't so plain. I think I'll get there, though. I have a couple of people helping me think up stuff, so I'll let you know if we come up with something really good. I have to admit the power carrot cake has over me, though :o) Sundays are free days to not work out and to eat whatever we want. Wedon't want to go hog wild, but it is actually good to eat a little more to keep our energy levels up and our calorie consumption high enough. Last Sunday, I still ate decent, but I had a coffee date with a friend at 3 Brothers in Woodstock, where I had a piece of carrot cake. I love carrot cake and this particular piece was wonderful! So as I have gone throughout my week, one huge thing that kept me from cheating was thinking about that carrot cake. If I don't eat well throughout the week, I don't get my free day on Sunday. If I don't get my free day, I don't get carrot cake! Simple as that. Now, I have no idea if I will make it back to 3 Brothers this week or not, but I might just start using Sundays as my evening to catch up with friends over coffee!

On Health...

As I am talking about an all around healthier new me, there is one aspect that I haven't yet touched on that is very real in me life. That is my actual physical health. Many of you know that almost 2 years ago, my body kind of started spazzing out on me. I had reached the tender old age of thirty. My husband has always teased me that it is all downhill from 30 and sometimes, it seems he has a point. It is a little difficult to describe what all goes on with my body because it has really been a multitude of things. I've had numb hands and feet; feet that have fallen asleep on me even when standing and doing things, tingling over my entire body - at times extremely escalated in the heat or when adjusting from hot to cold, arms that get sore and heavy (like magnets are pulling them to the ground), sore back and neck, sore joints (we would joke that I am the tin man and need an oil can just to get up off the floor), tremors in my hands, cramping in my feet and legs that would come and go for weeks, an eye twitch, tiredness, and the most bizarre (and somewhat humorous) was when I had a couple of week stretch of jerking awake throughout the night. I know that sounds like a normal thing and usually it is, but I was doing it like 8-10 times an hour and would almost jerk off the bed. Sometimes I would end up laying on the couch begging for real sleep. Now, to be fair, I've never had all these things going on at the same time and while most have happened from the get go, this has also been over the course of the last 20 months. Much of it comes and goes. I am on about 4 years now of having my back tingle (like when a limb falls asleep) and that is part of my new normal. Other than that, most things have stayed at bay for awhile. The main symptoms I encounter are the tingling all over the body and the heavy arms. They come and go, but almost always re-appear when I am stressed. I saw a neurologist for awhile and he did a multitude of tests for Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and they came back negative. So it was concluded I must have a virus. I was on a combination of antidepressants and tranquilizers (like valium) to combat the symptoms, but they didn't really work and I gave up on them. I didn't see the use of being on meds to mask the symptoms of something we have no clue about when it wasn't even working. I have started seeing a chiropractor who specializes in natural therapies. He has given me some natural food supplements to help strengthen my immune system against viruses, but he also thinks my adrenals are a little sluggish. Not to the point of being diagnosed with a medical condition, but enough that they aren't working efficiently. This could explain a lot of the achey joints and the fact that I almost always feel it physically first when I am getting stresses (since the adrenals are your fight or flight responder or where your adrenaline comes from) It could also address some of the sluggishness I often feel. So I am taking natural food supplements for that as well. Natural food supplements are new for me as I have always been a firm believer in modern medicine and thought holistic stuff was "out there". However, I have come to believe that God has made our bodies so incredibly that there is a lot that they can do to regenerate and care for themselves when treated properly. And I KNOW that my daily meals are not all that nutritious, sad to say. Besides, given the choice between antidepressants and tranquilizers (that weren't working) or natural food supplements (which can only help me get all the nutrients I need anyway), it's not too difficult.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that as I have been working out, my body is under stress, so of course I have become tingly all over my body again. It isn't constant, but pretty regular again and it is so frustrating. It's not surprising, but frustrating nonetheless. Last night, as I was laying in bed, just my nose was tingling. It is strange to have this thing sticking out in the middle of your face tingling. But it has made me consider my motives for doing this Ultimate Body Challenge. Yes, I want to get fit. I want to loose a little weight. But there is also a part of me that wants my body to be strong. In the back of my mind there is always the possibility that in 5 years from now it will be decided that I do have MS or some other diagnosis other than a virus. Should that be the case, do I want to fight it with a weak, unfit body or with a fit, strong body? With proper exercise and diet, many people become markedly better from whatever has been ailing them and can even quit medications. Granted, I don't have a heart condition or diabetes, but could the same principle apply for me? If I get my act together nutritionally and get a strong body, could my body take care of itself? Just things I ponder.

In general, I am well and as this is all going on almost 2 years, it has very much become "background" in my life and except when something rears its ugly head for a bit, I don't really pay it much attention anymore. But if this "journey" I am on could cause me to be physically whole, as well as mentally and spiritually, I will welcome it. God is good, regardless of where my body takes me. I am grateful for the health I have and that of my family. I am grateful for each day He gives me that I feel great (which is many more than when I don't feel great) and I have been learning to just not take it for granted. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Before Pictures

OK - here are some before pictures. I'm not sure what look is on my face and I hadn't done my hair yet or anything, but you get the picture. Please excuse the immodesty, but I wanted a good picture of the abs as I am hoping to really tone those up. I actually don't mind my size too terribly much, but do want to get tone and fit (and have more energy). I'm moving much better today - yeah! Good thing because today starts a new week and it's back to the gym tonight. Without trying to sound dramatic, I'm a little more scared now. My bootie was kicked this weekend. But that's all part of it,right?

No Pain, No Gain, Right?

I woke up at 2 in the morning and almost screamed. I think I had done something silly like roll over. My entire body hurt! The rest of the night was fitful and when I got up this morning, I tried to stretch. Stretching is good, right? That's what you are supposed to do. I stood in my strattle and reached towards the ground, but my arms didn't seem to go anywhere. So I sat, figuring that must be it. It was supposed to be a strattle that I was sitting in, but admittedly, my legs didn't really want to open. So Taylor, my 8 year old, comes and does her strattle stretch in the form of the splits, reaching her arms all the way out until her face was on the floor, right next to me! Me dear, dear husband has so much faith, though. He said "Just give her 10 weeks, Tay, and your mom will be whooping you!" I almost see that:o) I then told Dan that I feel like a sissy girl, to which my 3 year old, Tess, caught on to and ran in circles reciting "sissy girl!" I praise God that today was Sunday - a very real day of rest. I could barely walk down the steps, I don't have a clue how I wold have worked out today.

It being Sunday, we were off to church where Dean Niforates was speaking again. He talked about Freedom in Christ. About letting go of all the things we hold on to that we tend to let define us and being free and whole in Christ. He especially talked about not holding on to things in the past. At first, I sat there thinking this was relavent, but I have really worked on doing that over the years. And truly, I have. There's been a lot to give to God and it has taken time, but I have handed much of it over to him. But then I realized 2 things. 1) I tend to hand things over temporarily. And I do feel the freedom when I do. But then I forget that I put my burdens and past sins and experiences at the cross and I pick them back up and carry them again. And it is usually when I am already letting myself get bogged down with life that I add the past back on. That is not freedom. When I give it to God, he doesn't hold onto it just to return it at a later date! It is gone. In me, it keeps coming back. In Him, it doesn't exist and only when I keep the Holy Spirit in the drivers seat is there going to be freedom. 2) It is a continual process. Yes, many things in my life have been reconciled and given to the Lord, but even yesturday is the past. I have things from just the last year or two that God is really working on me with. I haven't really considered it something that defines me because it is still stuff that I am working through. But in "working through" it, I know there are parts of my heart that are still closed. I pray for God to open them and work on them, but in myself, I do not want them open. I guess I'm praying for him to work on me in spite of me, so I can truly live free in him. This is all good for me to meditate on. I have been convicted lately that I really want to be a person who when people see me, they see someone who is joyful in spite of anything because of the Lord. I just don't think that is easy to accomplish in bondage.

Off and Running!

Last night was the first night of my UBC (Ultimate Body Challenge). To start it all out, we all took measurements and got our "before picture" taken, as well as a brief fitness test. After the fitness test, we set goals for our 5 week assessment. We will not remeasure until the midpoint at 5 weeks and I am not supposed weigh myself until then, so I wont have any actually weight or inches results to report until then (unless I cheat and step on that scale -this will be a challenge!) I think I will try to post a "before picture" when I get a chance, but the one we took last night is on their camera, not mine, so I will need to take one first.



Measurements:

Arms: 11 1/2 in (R) 11 1/4 in (L)

Chest: 35 3/4 in

Waiste: 30 1/4 in

BellyButton: 32 in

Hip/thigh: 41 3/4 in

Calves: 15 1/4 in (R) 15 1/4 in (L)

Thighs: 25 3/4 in (R) 24 3/4 in (L)

Body Fat: 29%

Weight: 156 lbs.



I'm not sure yet what my goals are. I would like to be 140 or under, but am really more concerned with having a tone body. Eventually having "Jennifer Aniston arms" wouldn't bother me much :o) I am currently a size 10/12 and would like to end at a 7 or below. That will probably be my main measurement that I follow.



Fitness Test: 5 Week Goal:

Push Ups - Modified (girl) 24 in a minute 33 in a minute

(60% for age bracket) (85% for age bracket)



Sit Ups 21 in a minute 33 in a minute

(25% for age bracket) (75% for age bracket)



Flexibility (Sit and Reach) 19 1/2 in 23 in

(75% for age bracket) (80% for age bracket)





OK, obviously I didn't break any records with my fitness level. I've NEVER even tried to claim I could do push ups, pull ups, chin ups, or any other ups. I went to do my first sit up and realized that I probably haven't done an actual sit up since High School. I've done crunches, but not sit ups. They weren't so easy to do! But this is a starting place. I look forward to seeing where I end up.



We also talked about the Diet/Nutrition part some last night, but I need to study it a little more before I comment much on it. It will definitely be a change. Yikes.



After our measurments and fitness test, it was time for class. I've gone to kickboxing class a few times before and while they were definitely a challenge, they were nothing compared to last night! I think it was our "Welcome to UBC!" We started right out with a ton of kicking and kept the kicking up throughout the class. I don't know about you, but I don't usually spend my spare time kicking, so after awhile I was tuckered out! But I made it to the end and hobbled home. The worst part was actually that my foot has a crack in it right on the ball of it and we spend most of the time pivoting on the balls of our feet. If anyone has any ideas to help remedy this (quickly!), please let me know! Today, I went with Neosporin, Bandaids, and Cushy socks.



On Saturdays, our class is at 7:30 am (after leaving the gym at 9:00 last night). This was my first Saturday class and if I thought last night was tough... oh my! Saturdays are a combination of kickboxing and resistance (bands) and todays focus was on lower body (so yes, lots more kicking). By the end, I'm not sure I was making much impact with the bag at all. It was all I could do to go through the motions, let alone put any force behind it. It is funny, I have found that when I get tired, my mind quite working too. I could barely remember what sequence I was supposed to be doing and would sometimes have to start over simply because my mind was shutting down. I ended up having to say it out loud "kick, kick, cross, hook, kick, kick". One day, I'll get it down.



Tomorrow is a day of rest and already I am grateful! I am still so excited to be taking doing this UBC, but reality has quickly sunk in - It's gonna hurt!



Tonight, I am off to see Dean Niforatus speak at church. He came last year and is really an amazing and gifted speaker filled to the brim with the Holy Ghost! I am excited to go and am looking forward to some awesome worship time. More later. Have a great day!

My very first blog

What a creative title to this post... Yet, it is accurate. I have never blogged before and honestly never dreamed I would. I have never really had anything that interesting to regularly talk about. But today I am starting a new journey and the idea popped into my head to write about it. It isn't really that I think it will be so amazing for anyone reading this, but more for accountability. The devil dwells in the darkness, so I am choosing to turn on the light and share my journey with others. As the name of my blog says, it is a journey to a brave new me.

This journey is really 2 fold, at least. First of all, is the excursion to a fit new me. Don't we all say that at the beginning of a new year? This wasn't actually a New Years Resolution; it just happens to be the timing that an opportunity presented itself. Today signals the first day of an Ultimate Body Challenge that I signed up for. While this program is not everywhere, it is actually a national challenge that places have to be certified to offer. It is a 10 week challenge in which I have agreed to work out 6 days per week. On MWF, I have a Kardio Kickboxing class and on TR, I have strength training with bands. Saturday mornings are a combination of the 2. On top of the workouts, I will commit to a diet that is aimed at speeding up my metabolism. I'm not sure what that will look like yet; I will find at our kickoff meeting tonight. I am excited about the prospect of getting fit and healthy. I've done the skinny thing. I've done the not so skinny thing. Now I am finally ready to tackle the fit and healthy thing.

The second part is more of a spiritual journey. I've been on this pilgrimage for quite some time, but I am sensing it is time to really dig in again. I have been on the Mountain top before and I am really not satisfied being anywhere else. God is so graceful to be as patient with me as He is. I am such a slow study. I have been slowly catching on to some of the life lessons God has in store for me, but I am positive it is only the tip of the iceberg. One of my biggest roadblocks, I know, is discipline. I know I do not need to be legalistic, but I do need discipline (a naughty word for us phlegmatics :o) ) So while working on my physical me, why not work on the spiritual me, as well and have a whole new package?

As I said above, one purpose for writing here is for accountability. I am somewhat fearful of opening this can of worms as there is a fear of failure. That happens often. But since it is quite likely that WILL happen, I am hoping this will help motivate me to get back up and keep going. I would love any feedback and encouragement you have to give. The second purpose for writing is in the event that someone can identify with my journey and maybe we can be fellow travelers on the same path.

All that being said, "WE'RE OFF!" 2009 is the year of A BRAVE NEW ME!